Logical Irrationality
by DangerousBeans01
Summary: L knows that Light is Kira but he can't help being attracted to him. Torn between justice, and his own happiness, L doesn't know what to choose. Light too is divided- he's gone too far to turn back but he's sick and tired of killing. Choices must be made
1. Complaints

**This is my first LxLight fanfic. The chapters will- I hope- alternate between L and Light's perspectives, without being too OOC. There may also be lemons, but for the minute I'm rating it a T****.**

**It's mildly AU in places- Light is visited by Ryuk occasionally. Rem is still hanging around and being a pain though.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, more's the pity.**

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><p><strong>Chapter one<strong>

**Complaints **

Light-kun complains a lot. In truth, I believe it to be his favourite pastime. He complains about my eating habits, my drinking habits, my sleeping patterns, my clothes. In short, Light-kun complains about me.  
>It is his firm belief that I do not care about, or listen to, his complains.<br>He is wrong. I do listen, and I make sure that I do not change. In fact, I often go out of my way to continue with the things that annoy him.

Today he was picking on my hair.  
>'Do you even <em>wash<em> your hair, Ryuuzaki?' Light-kun demanded.  
>I turned to look at him coldly.<br>'Yes. You know I do.' I rolled my eyes. 'We shower together, remember, Light-kun?' I jerked the chain, wondering if I could make him fall off his chair.  
>I never claimed that I was not childish.<p>

'Cake, Ryuuzaki?' Matsuda asked, sensing, and preventing, the impending awkwardness. Matsuda is really a lot more intelligent that anyone realises, possibly more than he himself realises, it is an intelligence that centres around people. Matsuda is people smart. I believe that is the appropriate term.  
>'Yes, please.' I could have kissed Matsuda, if he hadn't been, well, not Light.<br>Because that was it, I, the great L, who could solve any case, read any person, had fallen in a wholly unrequited love with Light Yagami. With the man who was, in all probability, Kira.  
>It was why I annoyed Light so much. When he complained about me, it meant that I was, for just a few seconds, crossing his mind.<br>I knew how illogical it was, and, what was worse, I didn't care.

L cared. L, the black, gothic L on the computer screen cared. That part of me knew how ridiculous I was.  
>L Lawliet on the other hand was a mess. That side of me got butterflies as the sound of Light's voice, had to fight back a blush when we spoke and was equally pathetic in a million other ways.<br>So L was always in control. I couldn't risk the alternative of utter humiliation.  
>It distressed me that my first, and only friend, was also a mass murderer.<br>There had been a time, between Light's incarceration and the Yotsuba operation when I had known that he was not Kira. Before that… well.

Matsuda set my cake, and a fork, down in front of me with his customary cheerful smile.  
>Infuriating as he was, I liked him. When he brought me cake.<br>Light-kun had stopped complaining.

'Ryuuzaki?'  
>'Yes, Light-kun?' I turned my chair to look at him.<br>'I... I'm sorry. I made you feel uncomfortable earlier.' Light-kun was, I decided, ill. He never said sorry.  
>'It is quite alright, Light-kun. I am used to you by now. I have been led to believe that the social protocol for this situation is to now spend some time together to repair our differences.' I was going on what Watari had told me of his arguments with Roger in their younger days. Logic dictated that things couldn't be too different now.<br>'We're hardly going to spend much time apart now, are we, Ryuuzaki?' Light-kun asked with a laugh, his usual charming self once more.  
>'That was not what I meant, Light-kun.' I kept my face and voice blank. 'I was wondering if you would like to go for a drink.'<br>It didn't take the genius that Light-kun was to realise that I was letting him outside the taskforce HQ. Or that we would need to be unchained for the duration of the evening.  
>'It would be my honour, Ryuuzaki.'<br>God, that boy could be such a creep at times.

Six o'clock came. The taskforce went. Light-kun and I were left alone.  
>It happened every day, and every day I felt the same irrational feelings.<br>Today was no exception, and, as I unlocked the handcuffs that joined us, a strange feeling filled my stomach, and I felt like I was going to be sick. _Butterflies_ I believe they are called. And all because I was so close to that damn boy.  
>Neither of us spoke as we made our way to our room. The silence hung heavily in the air, leaving an uncomfortable feeling.<br>Upon reaching the room, Light-kun selected clothes, and then left for the bathroom across the hall. It intrigued me how someone so self-confident could be insecure about his body, but that was a mystery for another day.  
>I could have- in truth, I wanted to- go out dressed in my normal attire, but I didn't think my ears could stand much more of Light-kun's complaining. I rummaged in the depths of my closet, certain that there was something there.<p>

With a small smile, I withdrew a box. It contained a birthday gift from Watari that I had never made use of, but fortunately, I had not grown very much in the past two years, the clothes should fit.  
>Inside was a pair of jeans, not dissimilar to my normal ones, only more tightly fitted, and a button-down white shirt. I think the outfit had been intended to be something I could wear if I ever had to meet people, and wished to look a little more conventional. Such a wish had never arisen, until now.<br>Once showered and changed I proceeded back downstairs to wait for Light-kun, he would undoubtedly take a ludicrously long time in the bathroom, so I sat down to wait, the tightness of my jeans making it a little more uncomfortable than was necessary. I felt like Light-kun.

Endless complaints.


	2. Shot Glasses

_**Chapter two is here!**_

_**It was a lot harder, but I hope I haven't made Light too conceited or too OOC.**_

**_Thanks to Sashocirrione and lalala223 for the reviews!_**

**_All feedback is appreciated (:_**

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><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

**Shot glasses**

L is the most confusing, annoying, stubborn and eccentric person I have ever met. I am sure he does these things on purpose to annoy me. When I get annoyed, I complain. When I complain, people listen and change to suit me. I'm really fucking hot. I could have the most raging homophobe questioning his sexuality in less than ten seconds. It's a gift, and it works, with everyone but L. Maybe because he's asexual, I don't know, but he doesn't care about how I look. With almost anyone else, a few clever tricks and a promise of a sexual favour would have them wondering why they ever suspected me of being Kira in the first place. Not L.

He knows he's right, and, what's worse, I know that he knows. I am Kira. Granted, there was a time when I wasn't, a time when, in a different world, under different circumstances, I would have batted my eyes and asked L on a date. That would probably be the only time in the world when Light Yagami was rejected. I wasn't going to risk it; my ego is a great deal more fragile than I've ever let on.

But now we were going out. It wasn't a date, not by any means; we were doing it as friends. L and I hadn't been friends since the tennis match, and even that had been L trying to profile me.  
>Pity, really, that L has to die. He's been my opponent for a while now, and a good one at that. If there was a way to do this without L dying then I would take it, but there's only one way to get rid of that damn Shinigami, Rem, and that's to make her kill L. But I have to wait for the right time.<p>

I couldn't wait to leave headquarters; it's horrible, being locked up inside one building all the time, especially for me. I get very bored, very fast, which was how I ended up like this in the first place. I was a bored kid, with a notebook that could kill. You do the math.  
>I chose my clothes for the outing with what I'd have normally considered nowhere near enough thought, but it was L. he was most likely going to be in another of his baggy white shirts and blue jeans outfits. It stood to reason, as I'd never seen any evidence that he owned any other clothes, much less wore them. I had one of my many designer label t-shirts and a pair of loose jeans. Two could play at that game.<br>I dressed in the bathroom over the hall from the room Ryuuzaki and I shared. It was white, like every other bathroom in the taskforce headquarters, with bright, harsh, lights. Once dressed I combed my hair, then put the small black thing in my back pocket. I left my trousers, shirt and jacket in the bathroom. Watari would deal with it, I knew, and there was always the chance that he'd work himself to death before I had to kill him.

At first glance, L was wearing his normal clothes, at second the differences were obvious. Regardless, he looked good. Better than ever, to tell the truth. The tightness of the denim revealed a shape that I had never really see through clothes before, and I wouldn't have seen it before if it weren't for the fact we had to shower together.  
>'You look good.' I smiled, hoping I sounded genuine.<br>'As do you, Light-kun. But then, I suppose you already knew that.' He was right. I did look good. I _always_ look good.  
>There was an awkward silence that stretched on just long enough to be unnecessary.<br>'Well.' I flashed L my most dazzling smile. 'Shall we go?'

Ryuuzaki got to his feet, that small smile he so rarely used transforming his face.  
>I caught myself, as I had so many times since I became Kira once more, I couldn't risk having feelings for L. I was Kira and he was the enemy, the one standing in the way of true justice.<br>And so it had to remain.

There was a bar not far from headquarters, a ten minute walk at most, yet L, being L, insisted on taking the limo. He hated any form of physical exercise, and god forbid that I stopped him.  
>We entered the building and took two seats at the bar, which was long and made from highly polished wood. It was dimly lit, but clean, and there were people dancing in one corner. It was the sort of place one might come to drown their sorrows in whiskey and peace.<br>'What would you like to drink, Light-kun?' L asked, spinning his stool to face me.  
>'A beer I think… I don't want to get drunk.'<br>'Indeed.' L smiled mischievously. Was he planning to get me drunk?

Four pints later, I decided that he was _definitely_ trying to get me drunk. I was a good drinker, or so I like to think, so the only difference was that I felt a little more… free, less inhibited, perhaps.  
>'I would like to play a game, Light-kun.' Ryuuzaki looked at me coolly. He was as sober as ever.<br>'And what would that be?' I supressed a roll of my eyes.  
>'It is very simple, Light-kun. We each drink shots of vodka, simultaneously you understand, and the first one to refuse a drink, pass out, or vomit, has to confess their biggest secret to the other.'<br>'Very well. I'll play.' I smiled, if L was trying to trick a confession out of me by getting me drunk, it wouldn't work. But perhaps I could get his name…

I wasn't sure how many shots I had drunk by the time Ryuuzaki surrendered. I wasn't really sure of anything by that point to be honest. I was seeing double, the pyramid stack of shot glasses on the counter before me shifting in and out of focus, along with the rest of the room. The part of my brain that still retained common sense was surprised that L had given in so soon. I had thought he would get himself too drunk to speak, and so be unable to give in.  
>'Confession time!' I slurred, the words coming out as one muddled blur.<br>'Back at… headquarters.' L managed, then he stood, and stumbled his was out of the bar to lean on the wall outside, sliding downwards every so often and then clawing his way back up to a standing position.

Watari arrived, and helped us both into the back of the limo, and then out again at the other end. We staggered in what I believed to be an impressively straight line to the front doors, and into the lift. It took a great deal of concentration to get myself into our room, partially as I was supporting L.  
>We collapsed onto the bed, lying in a muddled heap.<br>'You… secret…' it was as articulate as I could get, and even that came out in a slur.  
>'Light-kun… I am gay.'<p>

Before I could form any sort of rational thought my desires took over and I crashed my lips against Ryuuzaki's.


	3. Unfocussed

**_I'm sorry this has taken so long. But it's here now._**

**_Hope you like it :D_**

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><p><strong>Chapter Three<strong>

**Unfocussed**

I opened my eyes, my head throbbing. I was immediately aware of four things:

One- there were no handcuffs connecting myself and Light-kun

Two- I was naked

Three- I was lying next to Light-kun, with my arms wrapped around him

Four- Light-kun was also naked.

This was a very, very bad situation, if what I could remember from last night was anything to go by. There was an eighty-three per cent chance I was right.

Head still throbbing I extracted myself from Light-kun's arms, then tapped him none too gently on the shoulder to rouse him. Blinking, he sat up, and stretched his arms.

'Oh… shit.' Light-kun whispered, his eyes widening as he took in our mutual nakedness.

'Quite.' I turned my back on him and searched for clothes, noting that the shirt I had worn last night was on the floor. Along with everything else.

_What the fuck was I thinking?_

We dressed quickly and silently, then locked the cuffs around Light-kun's left wrist, and them my right one. It is fortunate that I am ambidextrous.

We walked downstairs, neither of us speaking. I couldn't bring myself to look at Light-kun; every time I did, my mind was filled with hazy memories of the previous night. I had been out of my mind, completely drunk. I was disgusted with my irrational behaviour.

The task force was waiting when we arrived downstairs. It seemed to me that they were being unnecessarily loud. Perhaps that was the hangover talking.

'Morning, Ryuuzaki!' Matsuda sounded far too cheerful. 'You and Light are late today.'

'We… overslept after our exploits last night.' Light-kun supplied.

'I believe, Matsuda, that I am suffering from a hangover.' I hastened to direct Matsuda's filthy mind away from the truth in Light-kun's words.

'Coffee.' He smiled. 'You need strong, black coffee.'

'No you don't.' Mogi rolled his eyes. 'Have a fry up. A fry up _always_ works.'

'I find that a pint of water every hour on the hour works magic.' Chief Yagami interjected.

'Matsuda. Bring me strong black coffee, a fried breakfast and a pint of water.' I frowned. Even taking all three cures left a 23% that the hangover would only pass naturally. I had to try; I'd never be able to concentrate in the Kira case with the pounding in my cranium.

Not that I could concentrate anyway. Not with Light-kun a few short metres away, and the memories of last night rushing through my brain. I swore inwardly, I shouldn't have done it. Light-kun was my prime suspect, and I had slept with him.

Matsuda arrived, interrupting my train of thought. He set down a plate of fried food, coffee and a huge glass of water.

I forced the breakfast down. It was so salty, devoid of even a trace of sugar. Had circumstances not forced this upon me, I would never have eaten it. I drank the water and coffee, wishing that Matsuda hadn't neglected sugar there too. But beggars, as Watari often says, cannot be choosers.

Not one member of the taskforce noticed the awkwardness between Light-kun and myself or, if they did, they performed a wonderful act of pretending that they did not.

I could tell he was looking at me, why couldn't he just leave me alone? He knew as well as I that last night had been little more than a drunken mistake. It was one of many that I had been making recently, and if anybody else I knew had been acting this way then I would have theorised that they had a brain tumour and asked them to get it checked. I was behaving irrationally and I was unfocussed. It was like being a child again. I didn't know what I was doing. I was lost.

I hate- I loathe- I _despise_ being lost.

I sipped my coffee, the sugar calming me. More memories flashed through my mind, of Light-kun, panting, moaning and calling out my name.

W_ait just one second, Lawliet._

I blinked, astounded, the realised I had thought the words, not heard them aloud.

_He was begging for it. You know what that means don't you?_

'Hah!' I shouted, jumping up.

'Ryuuzaki, are you quite all right?' asked chief Yagami, looking worried.

'Yes, my hangover is gone. I am most relived.' I improvised quickly.

He nodded, and returned to his work.

'Light-kun, come with me please.' I didn't really need to ask, I could have just dragged him, but Watari would have been disappointed. He is fond of telling me that manners cost nothing. Not, as I am fond of reminding him, that I have any monetary deficiencies.

'Yes, Ryuuzaki?'

The awkward atmosphere was still ominously present. Fortunately, my mind presented me with four different ice-breaking conversation openers, two that would increase the tension and several more that involved more physical things, which ranged from punching Light-kun to kissing him. It is times like this when my intellect is indispensible.

'Light-kun,' I began, selecting my favourite ice-breaker. 'I moustache you a question, but, if you'd prefer, I can always shave it for later.'

Light-kun laughed loudly, clearly appreciating the facial hair related humour.

'I'm sorry about last night, Ryuuzaki. I was drunk, and when you said you were gay… well. May we keep this a secret?' Light-kun began speaking as soon as his laughing fit was passed.

'I think that you are only ashamed because you were uke. And a submissive uke you were too.' Much to my gratification, Light-kun blushed.

'I... well… I… erm….' He stuttered. 'As I said, I was drunk, and…' he trailed off, clearly unsure how to continue.

'Are you going to tell Misa-Misa?' I resisted a smile.

'No!' Light-kun looked shocked. 'She doesn't need to know.'

'I bet you'd tell her if you'd been seme.'

'I would not!'

'Be a good little uke and quiet down, would you? My headache will come back if you keep this up.'

Light-kun was literally speechless with rage.

As I turned away, I allowed myself a smile.

At least I had been seme.


	4. Humiliation

_**Wahey! Go me.**_

_**Chapter 4 in less than a week. I think...**_

**_Chapter 3 was much, much too slow in coming. _**

**_But yanno... Back to Light! WoopWoop._**

**_Hope you like it!_**

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><p><strong>Chapter Four<strong>

**Humiliation**

I resisted a glance in L's direction. Now the awkwardness had dissipated, staring at him would do no good. So I pretended to work, letting my thoughts run free.

He had been _seme_? Clearly when I am drunk I have less self-respect than I thought. I am Kira. I am the closest thing to a god this world has. I will be the god of the new world.

And yet I had been uke to the only man who stood in my way.

Well, shit. That hadn't been the plan, not that I had even had a plan last night.

Last night. The single biggest mistake I had made so far. I had let L fuck me.

I had been drunk. But as soon as I knew he was gay, I had jumped on him, like Misa jumps on me.

I supressed a shudder. I knew from prolonged first-hand experience exactly how infuriating Misa was. She threw herself at me every chance she had, practically begging me to fuck her.

Like I would ever touch _that_.

Misa was a model, and she was sure as hell hot, but I most certainly did not swing her way.

L on the other hand… there was something about him. His confidence, his intelligence and his perverse humour made him _beautiful_. He was also incredibly sexy. Justin Timberlake may have brought sexy back, but he didn't have shit on L.

I mentally shook my head. I shouldn't have been thinking that sort of thing about L.

He would be dead soon. I just had to wait for that idiot of a Shinigami, Rem, to get anxious enough to kill him and die herself.

If only L would take off these damn handcuffs, I would be able to write it myself. I had expected him to remove them after Higuchi was caught, but no. L had known, somehow, he had known.

And damn, did I hate him for it.

Like I hated him for making me uke. I am god, and yet he had laughed at me and teased me. called me submissive.

I hadn't helped myself though. I had simply blushed, asked if we could keep it a secret and acted as if I had feelings for the man.

But I didn't. I couldn't. I wouldn't.

Last night was simply because we were drunk, and he was attractive. It was logical that I was attracted to the only man I knew whose intelligence rivalled my own.

Perhaps this could be fun.

If only I could make L fall for me, then perhaps I could win. He wouldn't ever suspect if he thought I _loved_ him.

It would be cruel, but fun.

And when he died, we would both know that I did not love him.

But… L was my first friend. the only one I had ever had.

He was also my greatest enemy.

I realised, with a pang, that I did not know what to do.

I had lost my advantage.

I had submitted. I was weak.

In the end, it all came back to L. It came back to how I felt, how far I was willing to go for complete victory.

I was willing to kill, to use, and abuse.

I would kill my own family if I had to. My sister, my father, my mother. If it saved the world, then it was just collateral damage.

But I couldn't hurt L. I wanted him to know, as he died, that I was Kira. I wanted him to know that he had _lost_.

That pain was, for him, the worst. I knew it was. I wanted to see that in his eyes. The horror, the pain.

He too hated to loose. Another one of our many things in common.

I was going to save the world. Destroying L was unnecessary. Killing him, yes. But destroying him, just for fun? No. that wasn't right. Gods don't do that.

A thought occurred to me then. What if I wasn't Kira? What if I had met L some other way? We could have been friends. We could have had everything.

L was the closest thing to a friend that I had ever had, and yet our entire relationship was based on lies.

The world could have, would have, been ours.

I blinked, surprised by the lump in my throat.

I shouldn't be near tears over _L_ of all people.

I rubbed my eyes, and returned my concentration the work in front of me, but I couldn't help but be distracted. The constant discomfort of remaining seated was getting to me.

I shot the raven haired man a glare. It was his fault.

'Is something the matter, Light-kun?' L asked, widening his eyes innocently.

'No. Nothing is wrong.' I looked away.

'Is your chair uncomfortable, Light-kun? You have been shifting in your seat constantly all afternoon.' If he hadn't been L, he would have been smiling. I knew that tone of voice from all the time I had been forced to spend with him.

'I am perfectly fine, Ryuuzaki.' I said curtly.

If we hadn't been so close I would have missed the almost whispered reply.

'Oh yes, Light-kun. You are indeed "fine".'

I couldn't have missed the implications in those words. Hell, Matsuda couldn't have missed them.

Perhaps destroying L wouldn't be so bad after all.


	5. Strawberries and Cream

_**So… It's taken me waaaaaaaay too long to get this out. Way, way too long.**_

_**For that, you have my apologies. But y'know, it's here now.**_

_**I endured the wrath of my mother to write this. It is currently 11:30 pm. She told me to go to sleep an hour ago. **_

_**She is cross. Very, very cross. But seriously, it's only an hour, right? I mean, like, you know that saying "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"? well, no woman scorned has fury that has shit on my mum's bad moods.**_

_**Anyway. ConCrit is, as always, appreciated, so tell me what you think.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

**Chapter Five**

**Strawberries and Cream **

Light-kun was clearly in pain. Somewhere, deep down inside I felt the stirrings of guilt, but I quashed it. Light-kun was Kira and murderers do not deserve sympathy, not from L. Not from Justice.

The boy shifted in his seat, and I bit back another jibe. It was… unfair for me to laugh at him.

'Would you like a drink, or something, Light-kun?' I asked, trying to sound polite.

'Why ask, you have to take me with you to go and get it anyway.'

'I was going to ask Watari, actually.' I informed him.

Light-kun stayed silent. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, or pull the boy off his chair for being such a stubborn ass.

It was becoming necessary to expend on effort on not thinking of Light-kun in connection with his ass.

Diversion arrived, once again, in the form of Matsuda. He was carrying a tray, laden with coffee mugs, one of which he handed to me, the other he gave to Light-kun.

'Thank you, Matsuda.' Light proffered one of his dazzling smiles.

Matsuda coughed, and turned away, covering his mouth.

'Sorry, Light. I'm coming down with a bit of a cold.' He apologised, before hurrying away to cough somewhere that wouldn't disturb everyone else.

It seemed like time was making a point to pass slowly. I knew, of course, that time was going at the same pace it always did. But my point still stood. The day dragged.

As with every other day we spent in handcuffs, there was a silence before one of us suggested an activity.

Today it appeared to be my turn.

'Light-kun, would you like to play tennis?' I had fully intended to say chess. Or battleships. Or scrabble, Light-kun is a master at scrabble. But I had said tennis, which was nothing like any of the things I had been considering.

'Yes, I would. But we'll have to take these off.' He shook his arm, making the handcuffs rattle.

'I am aware, Light-kun. Do you wish to change, or are you willing to play in what you are wearing?' we had played in our normal clothes that other time, hadn't we?

'I'll be alright.' Light-kun smiled. 'But you had better find some shoes, and all the other things we'll need.'

'Watari can fetch them.' I said, opening a drawer, and taking out a mobile phone. I pressed the speed-dial button. There was only one person on speed dial.

Watari answered immediately, and said he'd be waiting for us in ten minutes.

So Light-kun and I filled those ten minutes in the only way we knew how.

'Kira-kun?'

'I'm not Kira, Ryuuzaki.'

'I beg to differ. Why else would I handcuff us?'

'Because you're gay, and I'm hot.'

'Light-kun has such a large ego a god complex, like Kira's is inevitable.'

'Now, you know that's not true.'

I did know. Light-kun is, despite, or because of, appearances, very self-conscious.

'Eighty-four per cent.'

'You're wrong.'

'You're a liar.'

And so it went.

Our hearts were no longer in it, and they had not been for some time. I knew the truth, and he knew I knew. There was nothing more to it; it was now simply a rehearsed conversation, the lines varying little each time, like choreography that has been rehearsed so many times the movements become sloppy.

We arrived at the tennis club, the same place where we had played our first match.

I unlocked the cuffs, and slipped on my battered shoes as Light-kun selected a racquet.

'Light-kun?'

'Yes, Ryuuzaki?'

'This time, it really is just a game.' I tried to make the words sound sincere, but I had little doubt that Light-kun would not believe me.

The game stretched on, and Light-kun played well, just as well as before, if not better.

This time, there were no crowds, no distractions.

The ball flew towards me, I hit it back. It bounced once, twice.

Light-kun missed.

I had won.

'Well played, Ryuuzaki.' Light-kun extended a hand.

'I believe I had an advantage. After all, you are somewhat…'

'Yes, I know.' Light-kun grimaced. 'But even if I hadn't been incapacitated, I think I would have lost. But anyway, I hate "if's". Let's go to that café. It'll be just like old times.'

I allowed myself a smile at that.

We sat at the same table, and Light-kun ordered us both a coffee, he even picked out the six largest sugar cubes for me. I blinked at him, surprised.

'Thank you, Light-kun.' I murmured past my thumb.

'My pleasure, Ryuuzaki.'

We sat in silence for a moment, waiting for the coffee.

When it arrived, carried on the tray of a blonde woman who seemed unnecessarily fixated with smiling at Light-kun, there was a mysterious bowl there too.

The bowl was placed on the table, and I saw that it contained strawberries, covered with cream.

'I thought you might like them.' Light-kun looked far, far too innocent for my liking.

I picked up a strawberry by the stem, and ate it.

It certainly didn't _taste_ like it was poisoned.

Light-kun reached out one hand and picked up a particularly cream-covered strawberry. He lifted it to his mouth, and then very slowly, without breaking eye contact, licked it.

My eyes widened in shock. If it had been anyone else but Light-kun it would have gone unnoticed. But then, if I had been with anyone else, this wouldn't be happening

I came up with two hypotheses. Either Light-kun was teasing me, or he was completely unaware as to what he was doing. I favoured the former.

His tongue flicked out again, caressing the red fruit. I attempted to look away, but the growing tightness in my normally baggy pants was painfully difficult to ignore.

So I watched, and tried very hard not to remember what that tongue could do when its owner set his brilliant mind to it.

I watched as Light-kun sucked on the now clean strawberry, all the time picking more out of the bowl, hoping to rid him of ammunition to fuel the growing problem in my pants.

'There is a ninety, no, ninety-one per cent chance that Light-kun is Kira.' I managed.

'And why is that, Ryuuzaki?'

'Because, Light-kun, you are _evil_.' I glared at the boy, trying to convey my fury.

'Don't pretend that you didn't enjoy it.' Light-kun smirked his superior smirk.

I narrowed my eyes, got up, and walked away.

That boy would be the death of me.


	6. Sniffles

**_So. This took a lot longer than I had intended. As usual, really._**

**_On Thursday August 4th I am going to Canada. This may well mean that this is not finished for some time. _**

**_There is only one chapter left. ONE. And an epilogue._**

**_This chapter is dedicated toe_ PickettFence, _as she gave me the idea._**

**_Lots of things happen in this chapter, but I couldn't find a good place to split it and still have everything make sense. So, sorry. If you are confused, drop me a review with a complaint and I'll try to explain._**

**_Or you could just review anyway ;) _**

**_As usual, I hope you enjoy this._**

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><p><strong>Chapter Six<strong>

**Sniffles**

It is not unusual for people who share a bed with a genius insomniac detective to find themselves unpleasantly awoken in the middle of the night. I am, unfortunately, used to it.

For once, however, the fault was mine. I was coughing, my body shaking. My throat hurt. But, on the bright side, I was no longer in pain from being Ryuuzaki's uke.

'Are you alright, Light-kun?' L looked at me, his wide eyes wider than usual. I remembered the last time I had seen his eyes show emotion, two days ago after our tennis match, and my stunt with the strawberries.

It had been impulsive, reckless and stupid. It had been brilliantly fun.

'I think I have caught Matsuda's cold.' I sighed, dragged back to the harsh reality.

'That is a pity.' L's voice held no emotion. 'If you can, go back to sleep. You must rest. You will not have to work tomorrow.'

I nodded in thanks. I'd been coughing and sneezing for the last two days, but in the space of a few hours, it had gotten a hell of a lot worse.

So I was lying in bed, with a box of tissues, and my laptop. The handcuffs had been attached to the bed to prevent my escape. Even when I was sick, L was paranoid.

L… that man, that _letter_, had been filling my mind for hours.

I would have to kill him. He was my last obstacle, just another name to add to the many I had already written. I wouldn't even have to write it myself.

Trouble was, I didn't want L dead. I wanted him alive, alive to witness his failure and the fall of L.

I wanted him to know he was right, and that I was Kira.

But that could never happen. There have been too many deaths to go back now. All those who have died would have done so in vain. Collateral damage is acceptable when the ends are achieved. But giving up… lives have been sacrificed, and although most of them have been criminals, Rae Penber and his colleges, who stood in Kira's way, were innocent. They stood in the way of justice.

But they were innocent.

If L lived, Kira could not win.

If Kira lived, L could not win.

I had known it from the start that I would have to kill him, or be killed.

I tried to ignore my coughing and sneezing, and focus on what beating L would feel like. I couldn't do it. Every time I closed my eyes and thought of L images, memories filled my brain. I wanted it again, the feel of his skin on my skin, the taste of his lips on mine.

I didn't get that with Misa, and she was my girlfriend. But then, I have always known I'm gay. I don't think I could make it any more obvious, with the way I dress, the way I look.

I wanted L again. I didn't even care if I was uke. It was wrong; god, it was all kinds of wrong. He's the detective, I'm the suspect. I am Kira, he is L. we could never be together while we were L and Kira.

He could never stop being L; it is all he has ever known.

I can… I could… I had always intended… I had always known…

I made my choice, opening my email. There were two messages that had to be sent.

One to Misa Amane, and one to myself. Misa's came first.

_Misa, darling._

_I've got a horrible cold, and I wondered if you'd pop by to see me?_

_With all my love, _

_Your ever faithful Light._

It was sickening, but it was the sort of thing Misa expected.

Then, with a heavy heart, I began to type.

_Light Yagami, you are, you were, Kira._

_I understand if you do not believe this, and so I shall tell you something nobody else knows. _

_Before the Kira case, you used to sing in the shower._

_There, know you know it is me, or, rather, you telling you this._

_It all began when you picked up a black notebook…_

And so I wrote it all. I wrote everything, from the day I found the Death Note to where I was now, and beyond, detailing my plan to relinquish my ownership of the Death Note and have Ryuk give it to someone else.

Ryuk… the unreliable idiot of a Shinigami only spoke to me every few days, leaving me stuck with Rem the rest of the time. He'd come when he realised what I was doing though. He had to.

As I finished, and put the email on a delayed send, so it would arrive at nine o'clock that night, L walked into the room. I shut the browser.

'Light-kun, I have brought you some tea.' L handed placed the cup on the bedside table, and then climbed onto the edge of the bed, staring at me with those wide, suspicious eyes.

'Do you want anything to eat, Light-kun? You may have some of my cake, if you like.' L looked almost anxious. Perhaps he was worried that I would say yes. He never _ever_ shared his cake. Ever.

'No, thank you, Ryuuzaki.' I tried to smile, but sneezed instead.

I, Light Yagami, one of the most beautiful creatures on the earth, had been reduced to an utter mess, by a germ.

'You look as though something is worrying you, Light-kun. Are you sure everything is all right?'

'I'm fine. It's just the cold. It's making me irritable.' I wanted him to go.

'I will bring you some food later, Light-kun. I will check your temperature before I depart.' He placed one pale, long fingered hand on my forehead, then touched it to his own. 'It is not the most precise method, but it will do. You are not developing a fever. Drink the team it will help.'

He left, leaving my forehead tingling at the loss of the shockingly tender touch.

The room seemed too empty once he was gone.

Why had he come? Why did he care?

What was I doing?

I shuffled over, onto L's side of the bed, and breathed in his sweet smell. I reached out with my free arm and pulled his pillow close, hugging it.

Slowly I fell asleep.

I was woken, about half an hour later, by the reek of perfume that wafted into the room, along with my girlfriend.

'Misa has been so worried about her Light!' she flung herself on the bed, and wrapped her arms around me.

'I'm all right Misa, darling. It's just a cold, but I wanted to see you.' I tried to placate the blonde.

'Misa's Light is so brave!' she hugged me again, practically crushing the air from my lungs.

I coughed pointedly.

'How have you been recently, Misa darling?'

I cursed that this had to look authentic. I really didn't care about her career, but she told me anyway.

I tuned her out, nodding and sighing occasionally. It was more than enough to keep her happy.

'What does Misa's Light think?' she asked, sounding like a child trying to be serious.

'I agree with_ you_.' I said, after a pause. I had no idea what I was agreeing with, but it was sure to be the right response. Misa was like that.

But today, I was glad of her shallowness.

I pulled her into a hug, and whispered softly in her ear.

'I need you to give up your Death Note, Misa. Go home, wait for my Shinigami, he'll collect it an you can give it up, okay? I want you to be my wife someday, without all this between us. Will you it for me, Misa my love?' I knew she'd say yes. She's so easy to manipulate, all I needed was a few sweet nothings and she was hooked. She'd do anything for me.

'Misa will do anything for her Light.' She whispered in reply.

We let go of each other, and she stood up to leave.

'Misa-Misa will miss her Light very much.' She said, with a smile, before leaving the room.

I blew my nose, and threw the tissue into an overflowing bin. It landed neatly atop the pile.

As I waited for Ryuk to appear, I drank the tea L had given me earlier. It was stone cold, but my throat felt like barbed wire, and it was soothing.

L came before Ryuk. He was carrying a tray, with a bowl of ramen, and a bottle of cough medicine. He set the tray down, and picked up the cough medicine, between thumb and forefinger. Not for the first time I marvelled at his ability to open bottles without the full use of his hand.

'Open your mouth, Light-kun.' L filled a spoon with the foul smelling stuff, and extended it towards me.

I did as he said. I'd have preferred to do it myself, but I, like most people I know, like to be looked after when I feel ill.

I had to swallow three spoons of the vile stuff before L was satisfied.

'That is disgusting.' I told him.

'I know, Light-kun. But knowing your aversion to sugar I had Watari procure you the sugar free variety, as opposed the sweetened one that I prefer.' L smiled his tentative smile.

In different circumstances, I'd have kissed him.

'Thank you.' I smiled back.

'I must go now, Light-kun. Your father asked me to relate your condition to him.' he hesitated, then bent down and pulled me into an awkward hug. 'I Hope you feel better soon.' He said, letting go of me, and turning to leave.

I wanted to say something, to call him back, and lie there, holding him, forever, but I knew I couldn't. Not yet. Tomorrow, when I was free. Tomorrow I could do it.

The silence of the room was broken by a familiar choking laugh.

Ryuk had come, as I had known he would.

'So, Light. I see what you're doing. Give me a good reason why I shouldn't kill you.' The Shinigami exhibited his only admirable quality- he didn't beat about the metaphorical bush.

I opened my laptop, and typed a reply.

_Because you get to watch me catch and arrest someone for something I've done._

'That's a fair point. Could be interesting.' Ryuk sounded thoughtful.

_And I'll still know everything I did. I wrote a message to myself.'_

'Okay then, Light. You get to live. But, if you ever regain possession of the Note, and try something like this again, I'll kill you, understand?' the words were accompanied by that horrible laughter.

_I understand._

'How am I supposed to get a hold of one to give to someone else?'

_Misa's got hers. She's expecting you to collect it from her._

'Then, Light Yagami, do you give up possession of your Death Note?'

I closed the word document, before nodding, my head barely moving.

A strange calm feeling settled around my mind.

I picked up the bowl of ramen L had brought me with a frown.

I had a strange feeling I had forgotten something.


	7. Logical Irrationality

_**HAI GUISE, I'M IN CANADALAND. I'm pretty excited about the whole "being in Canada" thaang. Because mountains are cool.**_

_**I've been working on this since I left, but haven't had an internet connection at any of the campsites I've stayed on, until now. **_

_**Why are there mosquitoes in Canada? I'm in the frikin' mountains, and there are mosquitoes. That's just wrong.**_

_**But yes. Ignoring the freakish mosquitoes, I hope you like this. After this, there is an epilogue. Which I said last chapter. But yes. I might, one day, if I feel like it, write an alternate ending.**_

_**DISCLAIMER**__**: I do not own Oscar Wilde, or his book **_**The Picture of Dorian Gray.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Seven<strong>

**Logical Irrationality**

Light-kun's illness bothered me a great deal more than I let on to any of the task force. As far as they were aware, Light-kun did not desire any visitors, and my visits were simply to provide him with the necessary sustenance his body require to recover.

It was just a cold. I worried more than was necessary, but then, there is something about Light-kun that drives me to make extreme decisions.

It hurt a lot more than I let on, that Light-kun had asked Misa to see him, rather than confide in me. I had watched the entire twenty minute exchange on the cameras in the room. Light-kun had clearly been ignoring Misa, although I doubt even his own mother would have known. I doubt there is anybody who knows Light Yagami quite as well as I do. I do not mean that we are intimate- although at times we are- I _understand_ him.

It is perfectly simple, really. Had I, L Lawliet, grown up as Light-kun has, had it been I who had found that notebook, I would have done exactly as he did. I would have taken Justice into my own hands.

Light-kun and I are not so very different. I am sure that, given my upbringing, he would have become L. he would have done the things I have done, perhaps even been better at it.

I have no doubts, whatsoever, that Light-kun is Kira.

Which means that I owe him my sanity.

Kira killed Beyond Birthday.

Beyond Birthday was very slowly killing me.

I was unable to look at twenty-four hour clocks for fear of the time being 13:13. I despised the very word birthday, and I could barely stand looking in the mirror. My reflection was my greatest fear.

Before Beyond Birthday I was simply an insomniac, now I am afraid to sleep, because in my dreams I see him.

It seems ridiculous, to be so afraid of him, but he is like me in every way. That is a truth which is, quite simply, terrifying. If he was capable of the things he did, then so am I. I took his name, Ryuuzaki, to remind myself.

Light is like that too. I would be him in his circumstances. He would be me in mine.

Light-kun was confined to his bed for a total of three days. I did not notice the change until the third day.

It was a subtle difference at first, which is, perhaps, why I did not notice sooner. Light-kun looked less stressed; there was a glimmer in his eyes that I had not seen since the days before Higuchi. In direct contradiction to that, he seemed anxious about something, as if he had received a troubling piece of news.

I was bothered by that.

When he was Kira, he was cold, calculating and ruthless.

When he was Light-kun, he was relaxed, determined, _and different_. Although he was still calculating.

Light-kun is all drive, ambition, beauty, arrogance, intelligence and determination. He is the sort of person who could, quite rightly, fill out a form and put their race as _superior_. I doubt that he would though. For all his attitude, he is still an insecure teenage boy.

It was the evening of the fourth day when we spoke. It was late; the rest of the taskforce had gone home. The handcuffs no longer connected us. He seemed like Light-kun again, not Kira. I was always with him, they were unnecessary.

'Ryuuzaki… L… I have something I need to tell you.' Light-kun seemed… well, nervous didn't quite cover it.

'What is it, Light-kun?' was he about to confess?

'Look.' He passed me his laptop.

It showed an e-mail, sent by him to… him. That was odd.

Trepidation filled me. I wanted to be right, but I didn't. If he was Kira… I wasn't sure what I would do. He could be- there were still killings. Old criminals now and those who had not been convicted.

I began to read.

_Light Yagami, you are, you were, Kira…_

I read in silence. I could not speak. I could barely breathe.

'You… sing in the shower?' it wasn't what I had intended to say, but somehow it jumped all my other questions.

Light-kun said nothing.

'Why are you showing me this, Light-kun?' I asked, as gently as I could.

'Because…' he hesitated, continued slowly. 'I… I love you, L.'

I have never before understood the concept of a deafening silence, but the total lack of sound of any kind it that moment was louder than anything I had ever heard.

It was up to me now, I knew.

Light-kun had put himself entirely at my mercy.

He was so many things.

My best friend, my worst enemy, guilty, innocent, arrogant, insecure, confident, scared.

Images of him flashed through my mind.

Head thrown back, laughing at some idiotic joke.

Frowning in concentration.

Glaring when I called him Kira.

His head thrown back, writhing, panting and screaming beneath me.

He loved me. He had given up, because he knew I never would, until he killed me.

I would never give up pursuing Kira.

But Light-kun was no longer Kira.

I made my decision.

I deleted the e-mail with a few keystrokes.

There was no visible trace of it. I would need an accomplished hacker if I ever wanted to see it again.

'I love you, too, Light-kun.'

For a long moment, neither of us spoke.

I do not think I can ever explain what I did. It was against everything I stood for as L, as Justice. Yet I do not doubt that it was the right choice. I could not have lived with myself if I had arrested Light-kun. I would not have wanted to. The way Light-kun makes me act is irrational, and yet, because it is Light-kun, it is somehow logical.

Light-kun makes me something I can never be on my own. He is not aware of that fact, and I do not think he ever truly will be. I can read people, I can solve the unsolvable. But I will never truly understand Light-kun.

I believe that if I was called upon to justify my decision my only defence would be that I love Light-kun.

The silence was broken by the sound of people hitting pillows, as Light-kun, for the second time in recent history, threw himself at me, wrapping his arms around me. Our lips met in a chaste kiss. We broke apart, still not speaking.

I pulled the boy closer as he began to cry.

Even when in tears he was still the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

As Oscar Wilde said, beauty is a form of genius- is higher, indeed, than genius, as it needs no explanation. I agree wholeheartedly with those words, and I, with all my genius, could not have put it better myself. Light-kun's beauty would be impossible to describe in any of the many languages I know.

'Don't cry.' I told him. I stroked his hair awkwardly. I do not deal well with emotional outbursts.

Light-kun did not stop crying for a further ten minutes. When he was finally calm, he wiped his eyes.

'Sorry.'

We both knew that he didn't need to apologise.

We lay there, in silence, for a long, long time. Eventually, Light-kun fell asleep, his head lying on my shoulder. He looked incredibly peaceful, and if I had not been able to hear his soft, steady breathing in my ear, I would have thought he was dead.

I shifted, trying to get comfortable without disturbing Light-kun. I ended up lying down, my legs stretched out, and my arms wrapped around him.

When Light-kun awoke the following morning, he seemed more surprised that he had fallen asleep fully clothed than that he had slept in my arms. I wondered, idly, if he had known what I would do, or had guessed at it. I didn't like to think so- I would never tell him, but it wounds my ego to be thought of as predictable. Many things wound my ego; I am under no delusions about how large it is, or how egotistical I am. I just pretend otherwise. I would never rob Light-kun of things to complain about, that would be simply cruel.

'Good morning, L.' Light-kun smiled up at me.

'And the same to you, Light-kun.' As I spoke, I gently extricated myself from him. We needed to change before work, after all.

'Are you really not going to arrest me?'

'No, Light-kun, I am not.' I paused. 'I no longer have any evidence, anyway.'

'So… what will you do now? There's someone out there somewhere, killing criminals.' Light-kun looked a little puzzled.

'_We_ will apprehend the culprit, Light-kun. I invited you to join the investigation team, not just because I thought you were Kira, but because if you were not, your intelligence was an invaluable asset.'

Light-kun nodded. He was being uncharacteristically quiet, normally he'd have been complaining about the lack of immediate breakfast or… something.

'Well then, we had better get dressed, hadn't we?' he smiled, and got off the bed.

It took more self-control than I possessed not to look at him while he changed.

It took more self-control than _he_ possessed not to jump me when he saw me looking.

In the end, we were forced to skip breakfast altogether, in favour of a shower, and, on Light-kun's part, the application of a more than a little concealer. I do not think Chief Yagami would have taken kindly to the large red marks on his only, and supposedly straight, son's neck.

That was a conversation none of us were quite ready to have.


	8. Epilogue

**_So... It's the end. This is the absolute-last-bit-ever of _Logical Irrationality_, so thanks to you people who read it, and to the people who reviewed._**

**_And just 'cause this is the end, there is no excuse not to review._**

**_Also, I have found a part of Canada without Mosquitoes. This makes me extraordinarily happy._**

**_I apologise for the slight randomness, fluff, and OOC-ness that takes place here. _**

**_I do not own Vivaldi. Or the Sweet Shop mentioned, which is real, I've seen it. I also do not own the Catholic church. _**

**_I have begun work on something that is called _For Your Entertainment _which is going to contain my first lemon. And stuff. It's MelloxMatt, because I like them better. _**

**_Anyhoo, enjoy this :D _**

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><p><strong><span>Epilogue<span>**

L never ceases to amaze me. I had expected to be thrown in jail, maybe even executed. I never expected to be there, at the trial of a lawyer, one Teru Mikami, who had been killing criminals who had not been found guilty, when he was imprisoned for being Kira. He was sent to an asylum for the criminally insane in the end, after he pleaded guilty, and ranted about Kira being god, and a magical killing notebook. Nobody contested the court appointed lawyer's plea of insanity.

It had been two months since the trial. In those two months, I had suffered the most terrible ordeal any man can face. I had broken up with Misa Amane.

Now, normally breaking up is hard, but breaking up with Misa, clingy, overwhelming, obsessive Misa Amane, is practically _impossible_. In the end, I had to do what amounted to breaking down the closet door, and then burning the whole thing to the ground. I kissed L right in front of her.

She cried a lot. A really fucking lot. And then she stormed out with a promise of never speaking to me again as long as she lived.

That was possibly the best thing she could have said to me. Ever.

My father didn't take it too well either. He seemed to have great difficulty accepting the fact that his son was gay. He had even more difficulty with the fact that my boyfriend was L. My mother took it very well, and Sayu, like the irritating younger sibling she is, made some remark about knowing all along. My father spent two very long weeks shaking his head at me, and muttering about Stockholm syndrome. He's still unhappy about it, and even more so when I told him I was going to England with L.

The car cruised down the hilly back roads, Watari at the wheel. Somehow, I hadn't been all that surprised when he had flown L's private jet. I had been more surprised that we had landed at Bristol Airport, but, if anybody was trying to track L's movements, they'd expect him to go to Heathrow, or Gatwick, so I supposed it made sense

The journey in from Bristol was pretty smooth. We took the back roads, because L disliked motorways, he had gotten it into his head that all the other cars were either watching or following him. As much as I love him, he can be really frustrating. Like, so frustrating I want to punch him. Not that I would, I am fully aware that that is a fight I would loose.

We were heading into Winchester, to a place called Wammy's House. From what I understood, L had grown up there, in an orphanage for extraordinary children. I got the feeling that Wammy and Watari were one and the same, that the man who followed him everywhere, who did everything for him, was as close to a father as L had ever had.

Not for the first, or, I suspected, the last time, I pitied L. I might have grown up to be a genius mass murderer, but at least I had a loving, functional family.

As we passed through the city, L pointed out some places of interest. First was a sweet shop, named the Sweet Treats Co. it even had a website address. It looked like L's idea of heaven, with shelves, laden with jars, reaching up to the ceiling. I don't really like sweets, but even I had to admit that it looked amazing.

Second he showed me a Catholic Church where one of the seventy-two children at Wammy's spent two hours every Sunday morning, and the occasional evening, because the chapel in the orphanage was Church of England. He pointed out the cathedral, which was hard to miss, and a few other points of interest.

I would be lying if I said I was looking forward to meeting every one of the staff and children at Wammy's. I found the prospect of meeting the top three students particularly daunting. There is something about people who do not use their real name, no matter how young or old they may be, that is disconcerting. The oldest boy, the Catholic, went by the name of Mello. L had warned me about him, in a way that meant I couldn't be positive as to whether or not he was joking. I fervently hoped he was. If Mello was anywhere near as boisterous as I'd been told, I would have difficulty handling him in conversation. The other two, Near and Matt, ranked first and third respectively, seemed a little more normal. I had been told to expect Matt to ignore me almost completely, in favour of a handheld gaming device, or Mello, to whom he was utterly devoted, and Near would, I had been told, probably deduce a lot more about me than he would reveal, ask impertinent questions, and play with robot toys.

These were the top three ranked pupils at Wammy's; they were also L's potential heirs, _our_ potential heirs. L had made it perfectly clear that for the next few decades, I would work as L alongside him.

Even so, I couldn't help wondering if there were any genii who lived, or at least acted, like regular people.

We pulled up outside a large building, made of a pale beige stone. It looked old; and more than big enough for its residents. A sign outside declared it to be Wammy's House for Extraordinary Children. A notice underneath threatened that trespassers would be prosecuted.

Behind us, huge wrought-iron gates closed, driven by some unseen mechanism. Watari opened the door, and I slid out. Night was falling, and jet lag was taking its toll. I wanted nothing more than to get to sleep. I looked up at the imposing double doors that looked like they belonged on a cathedral. In the base of one of the doors was set a much smaller one, that was invisible, but for the handle. It was through this door that we entered, into the entrance hall. There was a lone man waiting for us, sat cross legged in an armchair.

He looked up at the sound of the door.

'Wammy!' he rushed forwards and practically threw his arms around Watari, confirming my deduction. A small part of me mourned that I had not gleaned the man's first name, but I gave myself a mental slap.

'Roger, old friend. It is good to see you.' Watari smiled, and returned the hug.

L ignored it all, as though the sight of his normally solemn guardian hugging another man and grinning like the Cheshire cat was nothing unusual.

'L, it's an honour to see you again.' Roger turned to L, and extended a hand. L shook it briefly.

'It is good to see you, too.' L's voice betrayed no emotion. I couldn't help wondering if he was serious.

'And you must be Mr Yagami.' I shook the proffered hand.

'Call me Light, please.' I wasn't just being polite. People always call me by my first name. The only person who never did was my old math teacher, who hated me because I was smarter than he was. Poor fool never realised I was smarter than everyone he knew put together.

With the introductions over, L and I left the two men to talk. As we walked through the corridors, L slipped his hand into mine.

'Are you tired, Light-kun?'

'Unreasonably so.' I sighed. 'I suppose you're not.'

'One of the few benefits of insomnia.' L's voice was almost bitterly sarcastic.

'Oh, cheer up. Do you want to show me a few places before we go to bed?' I knew he had been looking forward to bringing me here. I wasn't going to deprive him of his fun.

'I thought you were tired?'

'Not so tired that I can't manage another half hour.' I smiled.

'Come this way then.' L pulled me along for a few dozen paces, and then stopped dead.

'Light-kun, there is something I wish to tell you.' He didn't turn to look at me.

I said nothing. From his tone of voice, I could tell that if he was going to continue, he'd do so without my input. Even so, my heart pounded.

'My name is L Lawliet.'

L had told me everything, about many of his old cases, how he grew up, and why he didn't sleep. Now he had told me his name.

I had never realised how much he trusted me, with so little reason to do so.

'Well.' I said, after a pause. 'At least nobody knows your name to take the piss out of you. I have to deal with being called _lightbulb_.'

'That is the most original reaction I have ever had to that information.' L smiled his half smile.

'L Lawliet, I am warning you that if you continue looking so damn cute then I will be forced to expend a great deal of energy taking you up against this wall.' My only excuse is that I couldn't think of anything else to say. At all.

'Ah, but Light-kun, we both know I am the seme in this relationship.' If L hadn't been L, he would have smirked.

We continued along the corridor, until we reached a fork, at which point we turned left.

The faint sound of a piano reached my ears, and L must have heard it too, because he sped up, heading in the direction of the sound.

The music stopped, the piece finishing, just as we reached the door it was coming from. There was a light on inside, and I could just make out the shadows of two people.

One of them was at the piano. There was a pause, then the sound of a book being closed, and the tinkle of piano keys.

'Vivaldi.' I murmured.

'The _Spring_ Allegro.' L whispered back.

I blame jet lag, and the lack of inhibitions that being really tired provokes, for what we did next.

L, the great, famous detective, put his hand on my waist, I put mine on his shoulder, and we began to dance. I have never danced the part of a woman, but L was definitely leading. We span, our movements faster when the music was louder, slower when it was quiet.

When the music stopped, the piece reaching its end, L looked at me.

'That was extremely irrational of us, Light-kun.' He tried to sound stern.

'Ah, but L, you love it.' I laughed, and suppressed a yawn.

'Indeed I do. Now, you look like you are about to collapse. Come on, to bed with you. Tomorrow you shall have to meet the boy who was playing that piano, and trust me; it is an invariably exhausting experience. You'll need your sleep.' L tugged impatiently on my hand.

'Yes, thank you, mother.' I rolled my eyes at him, and began to walk.

'You'll thank me for it later. If it makes you feel any better, I'll tuck you in.'

'Hilarious.' I said drily. 'I'm not a child.'

L simply smiled at me.

'Don't be so serious, Light-kun.' He told me.

We had reached a door, which L pushed open. It was a lot bigger that the room we had shared at the Taskforce HQ, with a king-sized bed, a desk, a mini-fridge, most likely stocked with cake, and several squashy arm chairs arranged around a wooden coffee table.

'Go on.' L said. 'Sleep.' From his tone of voice, I would have expected an imperious point.

I undressed, and slid into the bed. There was a click, and the lights went out. There was the sound of clothes falling to the floor, and then L slipped into bed next to me.

He wouldn't sleep, and we both knew why, but maybe one day he would be back to simple insomnia.

'Night Light.' I could hear the smile in L's voice.

If I had been any less exhausted, I would have protested at the lame pun, but my eyes simply would not stay open. We had years for L to get those jokes out of his system, years of being L, and years to simply be together.

I couldn't deny, I was looking forward to that.


End file.
